I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
