I think I am morally bankrupt
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
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