Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
