i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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