i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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