Whod you bang
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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