FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
