Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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