Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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