I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
