i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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