Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
