you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
