It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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