Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize