Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize