how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
my poor anus
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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