By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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