it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
