just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
