You're completely useless in the revolution.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
