Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I need to calm my uterus...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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