whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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