I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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