you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Randomize
