I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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