Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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