Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
