This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
