I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
