I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
