my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize