I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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