We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
