As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
