If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
