Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
