I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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