my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
