yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
