Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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