we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
