the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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