So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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