Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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