I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
