Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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