At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
