so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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