No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
