I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
