Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My pussy is not your playground.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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