Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize
