i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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