I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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