I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize