I got chris browned last night
no you cant smoke seaweed
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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