I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
