C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
