So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
